The Masters

Heading off to the next YIS event, the Masters, with three great buddies. One, Tim, I've known since high school, and the other two, Artie and Frank, I've known for going on twenty years. Perfect example of how sports are the common bond among guys. Tim is about as different from Art and Frank as can be, but we will all have a blast together. Helps that everybody is a nice guy to start with. Plan is to be at the Masters for the first and second rounds, get a round of golf in on Saturday, and watch the final two rounds on TV, where we’ll be able to see more of the action in real time, before flying home.


-Wednesday, 4/7 PHL airport

Well, that didn't take long. Get to the airport nice and early...no lines, no hassles. Settle in at the gate with my newspaper. Email from Frank..."We are drinking...Come find us." Shit! It's 7:30 a.m. and I have a cranberry and vodka in my hand. This doesn't bode well. A couple of refills and "travellers" later we are on our way.

Plane is FULL of people heading to the Masters. I do get a kick out of golfer-types as a whole. All of these guys wearing their snazzy club logo polo shirts and shorts, looking like they’re ready to tee off.

- Wednesday, 4/7 Augusta

What a cool airport. Small, quaint, clean. Looks more like a nice big southern home than your typical airport. Lines and lines of private jets already parked all around the airport. This event equals MONEY.

Lunch at a local joint 1/2 mile from the course. Augusta National really is in the middle of strip mall heaven. No character at all to Augusta. Cross between King of Prussia and Cherry Hill. Plenty of Jiffy Lubes, Waffle Houses and CVSs. The entrances to the course are an innocuous couple of driveways off the main drag. If you didn't know to look for it, you'd miss it.

Everything in site is revolving around the Masters. People buying/selling "badges", restaurants and bars hyping Masters week specials, etc. Hard to figure out what goes on here the other 51 weeks of the year.

Dinner at Outback…one of the higher-end establishments in Augusta. NOT kidding. The four old men even went out to a club with a live band. Our polo shirts fit right in with the cowboy hats, boots, etc of the locals. Hope our hearing survived.

-Thursday 4/8 Morning, etc.

Picked up our badges at a hospitality house (owned by the ticket broker we used) in the neighborhood across Washington Street and within easy walking distance from the course. There really is a little Masters micro-economy going on here.

Writing the rest of this after-the-fact because there is an absolute, no exceptions prohibition on cell phones, blackberries, etc., as well as cameras within the course property. This is NOT a place to break a rule by hiding a cell phone in your underwear, etc. You get caught…and you will get caught….and there goes the badge you need to get into the event. Not just for the day you got caught….for the rest of the tournament and for all future tournaments. Explain that to the ticket broker.

The public entry gate was recently moved to the west side of the course. The club basically bought up a whole bunch of small homes in the neighborhood adjacent to the course on that side, knocked them down, made it all into free parking lots and built a new entrance that rivals anything I've ever seen at a museum, amusement park, etc. These guys have some serious cash. Beautifully done, with every detail executed just perfectly. The most efficient, polite and friendly personnel you could ever imagine, too.

Wow! I can't even do justice trying to describe the other facilities (concession building, merchandise store, etc.), no less the course itself. Absolutely beautiful. The money that must have been and is spent to maintain this is beyond my comprehension.

We got as close as we could to see Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer tee off as the ceremonial first twosome. This goes beyond celebrity adoration. These guys are gods to the people here. As they walked off the tee back towards the clubhouse, Artie and I were lucky enough to be right in their path. As I stood there in awe, Artie was smart enough to stick out his hand. Doesn't Jack shake his hand. Damn! Now Jack is telling all of his friends that he got to shake Artie's hand, instead of mine :) In true Artie fashion, he now swears he will never wash his right hand; will learn to wipe his butt with his left hand and will sign his name forever more as "Art Newcomb, FOJ" (FOJ = Friend of Jack). What a character...Artie, not Jack. Bears mentioning here that, of the four of us, Artie is definitely the most serious about golf. He literally started vibrating when we walked through the gates.

They say Augusta National can care less about the money they make from the Masters, but they certainly must rake it in. On top of TV money, they have the most efficient and comprehensive high-end memorabilia, collectibles and branded clothing operation you could imagine. People were dropping hundreds and thousands of dollars on shirts, hats, bags, and anything else you can think of. All very high quality stuff. Between the four of us we easily spent $5K. Once again, run as well as any store I've ever seen.

Spent the day walking around and seeing as much of the course and as many players as we could. Being Masters “virgins”, we didn't know enough about how to best approach the day, so we just went with our gut. We did take the cue from some Masters vets that we spoke to and bought folding chairs to stake out a position at a key hole or two that we could come back to later. One of the basics of Masters viewing is to get one of these chairs at $30 a pop, then place it in one of the designated seating areas around the greens or tee boxes and then leave it there while you walk other parts of the course. While you're not there, somebody else can use the chair, but will relinquish it when you get back. The Masters honor system. Never a thought that someone might steal your chair or even move it to replace it with their own. Very cool.

Most amazing thing you notice as you walk the course are the elevation changes. Can’t really tell on TV how hilly the course is and how exhausting it has to be walking this layout. I know it’s hard to compare golfers to other athletes in terms of physical stamina etc, but this is NOT an easy course to play four days in a row, even from the standpoint of walking it.

Rain was forecast for the afternoon, but it held off until very late in the round. Play was never stopped and it didn't keep us from staying until we were ready to head back to the car. Not quite sure what exactly would happen with the crowds if a major thunder/lightning storm did come through. There are a lot of spectators; I mean "patrons" out here...Augusta National’s preferred term. Saw everybody from Freddy Couples to Tiger to Phil to Ernie. Made sure we spent some time down at Amen Corner and the other famous points on the course. Stuck our chairs at the 18th green and ended up there as the afternoon progressed. We got to see a lot of the bigger names finish up their rounds since the way the threesomes and tee times worked out, they teed off later in the day. Biggest surprise on the leaderboard was Tom Watson, 60 years old and still competing against the next couple of generations. Freddie Couples and Bernard Langer also up there, waving the flag for us older guys.

You knew there had to be some “Tiger episode” somewhere along the way. Part way through Tiger’s round, all of a sudden you hear/see a prop plan trailing a banner (like at the beach) “Tiger, you sure you didn’t mean Bootyism?” Then, a little later…”Sex Addict? Yeah, sure. Me too.” To think that somebody took good money out of their own pocket to do that is pretty weird. Joke was that Augusta National was going to have the plane shot out of the sky.

- Friday 4/9 Morning, etc.

Back at it. The sun might have been shining bright, but it was freakin’ cold out. Wind was blowing pretty good, and, especially on the high spots on the course, I was wishing I had long pants on. We once again dropped our chairs at the 18th green then headed to the “store” to get our shopping done before things got crowded. Artie took the prize. Spent $2300. They even had a set up where you could check your shopping bags and pick it up as you left the course, or you could ship stuff right home. They really do think of everything.

Did the Masters virgins thing and went and had our picture taken in front of the clubhouse where Magnolia Lane comes in (free service provided by the club). Great memento.

That same wind that was making me cold early in the day was making scoring a bit harder than yesterday. Not only was it affecting ball flight, but also drying out the greens, making putting hairy.

Gotta make a comment about the food concessions. I’m sick of hearing myself say it, but, like everything else here, it was better run than any concession I’ve ever seen… and cheap….egg salad sandwich - $1.50, chicken cutlet sandwich- $2.50, iced tea - $1.50, beer - $2.75. AND the famous Masters pimento and cheese sandwich on white bread - $1.50. Crazy!

Warmed up nicely as the afternoon kicked in. After a lot of walking around following Freddie Couples and some other groups, I settled in at the 18th to watch a good 1/3 of the field finish their rounds. Really neat to watch how they all made the same mistaken reads on certain puts, etc. Since this was our final day on the course, we stayed as long as possible before reclaiming our merchandise and returning our badges to the hospitality house.

Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter leading by two with a bunch tied for third, including Phil, Tiger et al.

As for the planes from the prior day? No sign of them.

-Saturday 4/10

Now it’s our turn to do some golfing. Who would have ever guessed it would be 39 degrees out in April in Augusta GA. Not me. No way am I going out there in shorts until it warms up a little at least. A couple of cups of coffee and maybe an hour of wait time later we head to the range and then the first tee. Not a beautiful course but pretty challenging for a muni. Of course, challenging for me is a pretty easy standard to meet. Glad the only thing hanging on the outcome of our little match was lunch since Tim and I came out on the short end. Tough to play one against two, wasn’t it Tim? . Couldn’t let Tim contribute to the lunch tab since I didn’t contribute anything to our team’s performance. Barbecue and sweet tea on me at the infamous Skonyer’s Barbecue on the outskirts of Augusta. Pork and beef were good, but what the hell was that hash on rice gunk?

Watched the third round back at the Comfort Inn before taking Art and Frank to the airport.

Speaking of planes…..According to the papers, the plane from Thursday with the Tiger banners got grounded when one of the well-placed Augusta National members called the FAA and had a surprise inspection done on the plane. Found a non-conforming seat belt or something and forced the plane back to Ohio to have repairs made. End of that party. Don’t screw with the Augusta National guys. They are WELL connected.

- Sunday, 4/11

Packed up all of our acquired Masters paraphernalia etc., checked out and wasted a couple of hours at a driving range and the mall. Hope Tim doesn’t take any of my swing observations to heart. He may never recover.

Since fourth round coverage doesn’t start until mid afternoon, we headed to the airport to watch. Not a bad way to finish the trip given how nice the airport is. Plenty of flat screens all tuned to the tournament. Not a soul in the place who wasn’t in Augusta for the Masters. Flight boarded with the final twosomes still on the course, but the pilot made sure to provide updates and final results. Flight was as smooth as Phil’s back nine.

Would like to have been there in person for the final walk up the 18th, but it sure was nice to be home and on my couch to watch the highlights.